You have won the battle but I will win the war!

I have to admit, today was another off day. I am battling a few things that brought, what would have been a good day, down.
One of my cousins is in town with her husband and baby, we got to go shopping this morning, (and I got new jeans!) but I didnt feel 'light and carefree' on the contrary I felt 'Heavy and emotionally sick'. Just a odd feeling thats all, I kept a smile on my face though, afterall, I was hanging out with a cute preggo and a 13 month old baby girl. My luck with trying on jeans went smoothly, and the baby was good the whole time but I was in a rush for time.

When I got home to get the kids I had a hard time leaving again..I started thinking of money issues, I started feeling guilty that I bought pants and considered taking them back...
Then I started cleaning the house, which wasnt doing much of anything. I got a bad headache and thought I would lay down instead (then I remembered I was taking care of my grandma tonight.) So I left and ate dinner at my parents,dropped the kids off with my parents in law, took care of my grandma, picked the kids up, went back to my parents for a bit, then went home.

I came home to a whole mess of ants EVERYWHERE. They were on the TV stand in Kadens backpack, in mail. Then I found in scattered all over the dining room floor, a bunch in the utitlty room (on the dirty clothes of course, those ants are still there, I will take care of that tomorrow), I'm watching a trail right now going under my bed to lord knows what....and in Kadens room, his blanket was hanging off his bed, so they were climbing on that to, which is still distrubing me. ALSO...MY 'DARLING LOVING HUSBAND'..left his LEFTOVERS CONTAINER on the FRIGGIN FLOOR OF THE LIVING ROOM! So they were everywhere in there. Took me an hour to vaccum them all up and put the kids back to sleep. (on top of that my vaccum isnt really working right)

I dont know what to do. I have a social worker coming to check out the house this week for the adoption and I cant even make it livable for my kids, the last thing I need is some stranger coming in here telling me how unfit of a parent I am for letting my kids live in an ant farm!

So between the social worker, money issues, ants, cyst and just how tired I am! I CANNOT WAIT for 'normal' and 'boring'

and the more that is going on the less I want more kids. I will see how I feel in August, Perhaps September.

Ok, I am FINALLY crawling into bed, gotta wake up early to clean clean clean.
I totally plan on drinking tomorrow night and taking a shit load of Advil (Sorry, but thats how I feel.)

I'm out!