FULL UPDATE

The few wedding pictures I have right now...

Ok. First I will touch base with work, kids, marriage, money, family, adoption, etc.

Work -BETTER! Much better. I have so much to keep me busy and I stopped trying to make friends. One of my friends was a co-worker over the summer and she left today so it wont be the same but maybe if I bury myself in work it might help me with the rest of my stress by being productive. I find I'm happier at work because of it.

Productive is a word that DOES NOT describe me lately. I do dishes every day and get alot done at work, I take good care of the kids but everything I do is bare-mininum. I can openly admit I am not happy with my life. I am lonely and pissed about it. Of course, I want to blame someone, which puts keith in the red-zone, and we are already on edge with each other.

So thats it, I am lonely. I feel lazy and bummed and I feel like life is right outside my door passing on by while I wave 'Bye Life' in the mean time my bored children are driving me crazy.

Kids- Driving me crazy. lol sounds repeatitive? It is. They are so restless and fighting all the time, Kaden being more whiney than usual and kenzie making up storys and not using her 'listening ears' or her ears at all for that matter. They want out, but I just want to sit here and be bummed.

I dont know what to do about it. Ever feel like the majority of your life consist of you conveincing your self 'it will get better in time' My whole life its been "Well when I get this job' "Well when I get a raise' "Well when keith starts school" "when keith finish's school"

Blah blah. Two years of that and I have to ask myself 'What now?' and What is so horrible about my life now? Yeah I HATE being alone. So my current excuse "When Keith get first shift"...ok I wont be alone, but me and keith have been fighting, so what we will fight more? or less?

Marriage- So I am irratated with him., Mainly because he works his butt of between taking care of the kids and work and school he has no time with me. And the small 15 minutes we do have suck! I dunno, you be mr phil because I dont know anymore.

Money & Adoption go hand in hand. We have no money because of the adoption, the adoption has been on stand still because we have no money. Right now we have to pay the social worker which is 250, but we cant do the social order until we have insurance which will be 320 monthly, something we honestly cannot fit in our budget. On top of that we have not heard form her biological father. So URGH. My sallie mae loan is also dangerously behind and I got a ticket the other day oh and I gotta get both my cats fized like ASAP.

As for family? Everybody is good. I am going to be an Aunt in march! My sister is law in preggers but pregnancy takes forever dude! And I'm not even the one pregnant!

Ok Kaden is in my face with a dirty diapers, we gotta go to me maws.

Later!